A Year and a Day

I always told my parents I wouldn't get married. I knew I would go to college and I figured I wouldn't need a committed relationship to have a comfortable stable life. Plus, I was never happy with the fact that I could marry the man of my dreams but one of my best friends couldn't marry the man of his dreams. I figured when I left the Christian religion it was the nail in the coffin for any chance of marriage.

Today Dave and I mark our year and a day as a handfasted couple. Traditionally for this custom, today would be the day to walk away if we thought the whole thing was a bad idea. Or, alternatively, re-knot the handfasting cords and make the bindings permanent.

A year ago I wasn't sure what I wanted to do on this day. Court battles over who was allowed to marry who were being fought all over the country, including my state. For a brief day in August marriage was allowed between same sex couples, then poof! Gone again pending an appeal to the Iowa Supreme Court. Finally, in April, the court made it's unanimous ruling and upheld the right of same sex couples to marry in this state. I have never been so proud to call myself an Iowan.

After that day, there was no doubt in my mind what I wanted to have happen today. I knew that I wanted to be married to Dave. I didn't need a ceremony or witnesses, and luckily Iowa recognizes common law marriages, so we don't have to have a ceremony or witnesses. For one year we've lived together, paid taxes together, had a baby together and called one another husband and wife. We're still not changing anyone's name, but legally we are married now, and I couldn't be happier or more in love.